You have every right to speak for yourself in a family case. No rule in Ontario requires a lawyer, and the judges and court staff at 7755 Hurontario Street see self-represented parties every day. What the right does not come with is a lighter set of rules. You will be expected to file the same forms, meet the same deadlines and follow the same procedure as the person across the room, who may well have counsel.
That is the honest starting point, and it is less frightening than it sounds. Family procedure is written down. Most of what goes wrong for people acting on their own comes from a missed step or a badly organized file, and very little of it comes from failing to know some obscure piece of law. A careful person with a clear head can avoid a great deal of that trouble.
This article is general information about the process in Ontario. It is not legal advice, and it cannot tell you what is wise in your own case, especially where safety, children or significant property are involved.
First, work out which court you belong in
The Brampton courthouse holds two different courts, and people lose time by starting in the wrong one. Brampton does not have a unified family court, so the jurisdiction is split.
The Superior Court of Justice is the only one that can grant a divorce or divide property, including equalization and claims about the matrimonial home. It can also deal with parenting and support. The Ontario Court of Justice handles parenting and support, along with child protection and adoption, but it cannot end your marriage or sort out property.
So a mother who only wants a support order from a former partner might file in either. A husband who wants a divorce and a share of the family home needs the Superior Court. If you start in the Ontario Court of Justice and later discover you need property relief, you may end up with parallel or restarted proceedings. A staff member at the Family Law Information Centre can explain the difference, though they will not choose for you.
The rules and forms you will live with
The Family Law Rules, a regulation under the Courts of Justice Act, govern almost everything. Read Rule 2 early. It sets the “primary objective” of dealing with cases justly, and it requires parties to help the court do that. Judges do refer to it, and it colours how they see a party who plays games.
Court forms are numbered and posted on the Ontario Court Services forms site. Some you are likely to meet:
- Form 8, or Form 8A for a divorce, to start a case
- Form 10, the answer, if someone has started a case against you
- Form 13 or 13.1, the financial statement, used for support and property claims respectively
- Form 35.1, the affidavit required with any claim for decision-making responsibility or parenting time
- Forms 17A and 17B, the case conference briefs
- Form 14, 14A and 14B, used for motions and affidavit evidence
Use the current version from the official site, because forms get updated and an old one can be rejected. If you were served with an application, the clock has already started. Generally, you have 30 days to serve and file an answer, or 60 days if you were served outside Canada and the United States. Ignoring the papers does not pause anything, and the case can proceed without you.
Court fees apply in the Superior Court, including when a divorce application is filed. If you cannot afford them, you can ask for a fee waiver through the process on Ontario’s website. You sign the request in front of a commissioner, and a separate request is needed for each case. Many documents can be filed online through the province’s family portal, but urgent requests and documents needed within three business days have to go in by another route, so do not leave things to the last minute and assume the portal will save you.
The Mandatory Information Program comes early
Most parties in a contested case must attend the Mandatory Information Program within 45 days of the case starting. It covers the effects of separation on adults and children and the alternatives to a trial. It sounds like a formality, but Rule 8.1 gives it teeth: until your certificate of attendance is filed, you generally cannot take other steps in the case, apart from filing an answer and booking a case conference.
There are exceptions, such as a case proceeding on consent or one where the only claims are for a divorce, costs or incorporating an existing agreement. If you think one applies, confirm it with court staff. Book the session as soon as you are able and keep the certificate.
Financial disclosure is where cases slow down
If support or property is in issue, expect to disclose more than feels comfortable. For support claims, Rule 13 requires a sworn financial statement along with income tax returns and notices of assessment for recent years, and there is further material for self-employment. A certificate of financial disclosure (Form 13A) has to be served and filed as well, with deadlines tied to the case conference date.
The court’s own self-help material warns that late or missing disclosure can delay your case, increase its cost or lead to your papers being struck. People often treat this as a chore to finish later. It is closer to the foundation of the case, because a judge cannot say much about support without knowing what each person earns.
Practical habits help. Keep one digital folder per tax year. Label everything by date. Make a simple index, so you can say which document proves what. Swear your financial statement carefully: it is sworn evidence, and being caught leaving out a bank account costs you credibility on every other issue in the case, including parenting. Also redact identifying financial account numbers from documents before filing them, as the rules require.
Inside a case conference
The first real meeting with a judge or Dispute Resolution Officer is usually a case conference. It is not a trial. No witnesses are called. The aim is to identify what is agreed, narrow what is not, and plan how the case will move. In Brampton, your case may be routed through the Dispute Resolution Officer program, where an experienced senior lawyer appointed to that role meets with the parties before a judge is involved.
The timing rules are strict, and they catch a lot of people:
- The party who asked for the conference, or the applicant, must serve and file a brief at least six days before the date.
- The other party must serve and file at least four days before.
- Each party must confirm the conference with the clerk (Form 17F) by 2 p.m. three days before. Unless the court orders otherwise, a conference will not be held if confirmation is not given.
Your brief has page limits, and the court’s guidance calls for readable formatting and only relevant excerpts from texts, emails or posts. Resist the instinct to attach everything. A short brief that says “here is the current schedule, here is the schedule I propose, and here is why” will serve you better than 40 pages of screenshots of arguments. Write about your children’s lives and your finances, not the history of the marriage.
Most of what is said at case and settlement conferences is treated as settlement discussion and generally cannot be used later as evidence at trial. That makes them a real opportunity. A judge may offer a view on how an issue is likely to go, and you should listen closely even when you disagree. Plan to arrive at least 30 minutes early, block off at least half a day, and address the judge as “Your Honour.”
Motions: when you need an order before the end
You might want a temporary order on a parenting schedule or interim support. The default rule is that no motion may be heard until a conference on the substantive issues has been completed. The exception, in Rule 14, is for urgency, hardship or another reason in the interest of justice. Real emergencies such as a safety risk or a child being moved out of Ontario can qualify. A disagreement that has been simmering for months probably will not.
Motions are decided largely on sworn affidavits, so your written evidence does most of the speaking. Good affidavits stick to what you personally saw and did, give dates, and attach relevant documents as exhibits. They do not argue, insult or guess at the other person’s motives. Be careful with secret recordings of children or involving children in your evidence, as judges often react badly to both. If your case needs a judge urgently, get legal advice the same day if you can; even an hour with duty counsel can help you frame the request properly.
Talking to the other side, and to their lawyer
If your former partner has a lawyer, that lawyer can speak directly with you. They are not your adviser and they cannot protect your interests, even when they are perfectly polite. Treat offers from them seriously, but ask yourself what you would be giving up before signing anything. Keep your communications businesslike and assume a judge will read them.
The rules expect the parties to speak before a conference unless a court order or a safety concern prevents it. If family violence is part of your history, tell the court office and do not feel obliged to meet face to face. Family Court Support Workers help survivors of domestic violence understand the process and prepare for court, and in Brampton the listed provider is Indus Community Services. They can also help with safety planning around getting to and from the courthouse.
Consider also making a written offer to settle under Rule 18, using Form 18. Offers can affect costs at the end of a case, and they show the court that you are trying to resolve matters reasonably.
Costs are a real risk for everyone
Being self-represented does not protect you from costs. In family cases, there is a presumption that a successful party is entitled to costs of a step, and judges deal with costs promptly after a step in the case. Arriving unprepared and causing an adjournment can lead to an order that you pay part of the other side’s legal fees. Bad faith can make things considerably worse.
A self-represented party who succeeds may also ask for costs, though what is awarded depends on the circumstances and is not a substitute for a lawyer’s fee. Budget for this possibility and keep it in mind when you weigh whether a point is worth fighting over.
Free and low-cost help
You do not have to do this entirely alone, and there is a difference between legal information and legal advice that is worth understanding before you line up for help.
- Family Law Information Centres provide free information on separation, divorce, court process, dispute resolution and community resources. Staff cannot tell you what to do in your case.
- Legal Aid Ontario duty counsel can give advice, review forms and explain options. They generally cannot represent you throughout your case. Legal Aid also has financial eligibility rules for fuller representation.
- Court-connected mediation can help you settle some or all issues. It is not suitable for every family, particularly where there has been violence.
- Limited scope retainers, sometimes called unbundled services, let you hire a lawyer for one piece of the work: reviewing a separation agreement, preparing an affidavit, or attending a single motion. The Law Society of Ontario permits this, and many people find it a realistic middle ground.
If you want a sense of what a lawyer could do on a defined task, our family law page outlines the kinds of issues involved, and you can reach the office to ask about the scope and fees before committing to anything.
Signs you should get advice even if you keep the file yourself
Some situations carry consequences that are hard to reverse. Pay for at least a consultation if any of these apply:
- A child is about to be moved, or there are allegations of abuse or a children’s aid society is involved.
- There are criminal charges alongside the family case. What you say in one can affect the other.
- A business, pension, or significant property is involved, as these require valuation.
- You are about to sign a final agreement or consent order. These can be very hard to undo afterward.
- Immigration status may be affected by the outcome.
Going through family court on your own is a heavy load, and it is reasonable to find it exhausting. A case tends to move better for the person who answers on time, discloses fully, writes plainly and picks their battles. None of those things requires a law degree. They do require you to treat each deadline as real, and to ask for help as soon as you sense that you are out of your depth.