For years, a grandmother in a Brampton home may have done the school pickups, cooked the after-school meals and known exactly which stuffed animal a child needs at bedtime. Then the parents separate, an argument happens between the adults, and the phone stops ringing. No one has told her she cannot see her grandchild. It just stops being possible.
In households where grandparents help raise children, as many in Peel do, this loss can feel enormous. It is also legally awkward. Ontario law recognizes that grandparents can matter a great deal in a child’s life, but it does not give them a stand-alone right to visits. The law looks at this from the child’s perspective, not the grandparent’s.
This article is general information and not legal advice. Each family’s history is different, and the facts usually decide these cases.
There Is No Automatic Right to See a Grandchild
Start with the hard part. Being a grandparent does not, on its own, entitle you to time with a grandchild. Parents generally make decisions about who their children spend time with, and courts generally give those decisions real weight, particularly when the parents are capable and caring and are acting in good faith.
What the law gives you is the ability to ask. Under section 21(3) of Ontario’s Children’s Law Reform Act, any person other than a parent, expressly including a grandparent, may apply to a court for a contact order. That wording recognizes grandparents, but having the right to apply is very different from having the right to an order.
Grandparents should also know the vocabulary. Since Ontario and federal family laws were updated, the old language of “custody” and “access” has been replaced. Parents have “parenting time” and “decision-making responsibility.” Non-parents, including grandparents, ask for “contact.” If an old document says “access,” or a friend tells you to file for “custody,” these are the terms it now translates to.
The Test: The Child’s Best Interests
When a judge decides whether to make a contact order, section 24 of the Act says the court shall take into account only the best interests of the child, with primary consideration to the child’s physical, emotional and psychological safety, security and well-being.
The Act lists factors, and several are directly relevant:
- the child’s needs, given their age and stage of development, including their need for stability
- the nature and strength of the child’s relationship with each parent, siblings, grandparents and any other important person
- the history of care of the child
- the child’s views and preferences, given due weight according to age and maturity
- the child’s cultural, linguistic, religious and spiritual upbringing and heritage
- the ability and willingness of those involved to communicate and cooperate on matters affecting the child
- any family violence and its effects
Notice the second item. Grandparents are named in the statute. Notice the sixth too. A grandparent in open conflict with a parent may have a harder time, because the court has to think about what the order would mean for the child, who will be going back and forth between the adults.
Ontario courts have often approached these cases with deference to the decisions of fit parents, asking broadly whether there is a positive existing relationship between grandparent and child, whether the parent’s decision to limit contact has imperiled that relationship and whether the parent has acted arbitrarily. Grandparents should expect a judge to look closely at why the parent objects. Courts usually do not treat a pleasant relationship, on its own, as enough to overrule a capable parent’s decision.
Facts That Tend to Help, and Facts That Tend to Hurt
No checklist predicts a result, but some themes appear again and again.
A strong application often shows a real, established bond, not just occasional holidays. For example, that might mean a grandparent who has lived in the same house, provided regular care while parents worked long shifts or commuted to Toronto, helped a child through a difficult time or kept a child connected to language, faith and family. Evidence that the child has asked for the grandparent, or has been upset by the loss, can matter too, though it needs to be presented carefully. Contact with a grandparent who is the link to a parent who has died may carry particular weight, because the child may otherwise lose that entire side of the family.
The application tends to be weaker if the relationship was slight, if the grandparent has undermined the parent, spoken badly of them to the child, or ignored the parent’s rules about food, religion, screen time or safety. Allegations of abuse, addiction or safety concerns will be taken seriously and may be decisive. So will conflict: if every exchange turns into an argument, a court may conclude that an order would harm the child even if the relationship itself is valuable.
Try the Other Routes First
Court should rarely be your first move. It is expensive and slow, and it can damage the very relationship you hope to preserve. It may also entrench the parent’s resistance. Courts themselves require parties, where appropriate, to try to resolve matters through family dispute resolution.
Consider these steps, roughly in this order:
Ask what is really going on. Sometimes contact has stopped because of an argument with your adult child, not because of anything to do with the grandchild. A grandparent who has taken one side in the separation may be seen as a threat by the other parent. Some honest reflection, and possibly an apology, can do more than a lawyer’s letter.
Make a specific, modest proposal. “We want to see them more” is hard to answer. “We would like to take Maya to her Saturday swimming lesson twice a month and have her for dinner afterward” is far easier to accept. Offer to follow the parent’s rules, and say so in writing.
Respect both parents. Reassure the parent that you will not discuss the separation or the court case with the child. If one of the parents is your own adult child, you may also need to ask that parent to include you in their own parenting time. This is often the simplest route, because a parent can usually decide how to spend their own parenting time, subject to any court order saying otherwise.
Try mediation. A neutral mediator can help, and low-cost options are available in Peel through family court-connected services. If the parent agrees, a mediated plan can become a written agreement. That may be enough to prevent a dispute, and it avoids any finding of fault.
Have a lawyer write a measured letter. A short, respectful letter explaining what you are asking for, without threats, can be a good next step. An aggressive one may close doors for good.
How a Contact Application Works
If those approaches fail, a grandparent may apply under the Children’s Law Reform Act. In Brampton, this usually means filing at the courthouse at 7755 Hurontario Street, where both the Ontario Court of Justice and the Superior Court of Justice hear family matters. The right court may depend on what else is going on, and it may matter whether the parents have an existing case.
If the parents are getting divorced, the federal Divorce Act adds a step. Under section 16.5, someone other than a spouse needs leave of the court, meaning permission, to apply for a contact order. If there is already a case under way, your application may need to be connected to it. A lawyer can sort this out.
Your application must include a sworn affidavit in the prescribed form, describing your proposed plan for the child’s care and upbringing, your involvement in any family or criminal proceedings, and any other information relevant to the child’s best interests. Be accurate. Anything inaccurate can do serious harm to your credibility.
Grandparents who ask for more than contact should know that there are extra requirements. A non-parent seeking a parenting order for decision-making responsibility must file a recent police records check and request a report about any children’s aid society records. This can arise where a grandparent is actually raising a child, for example because both parents are unable to do so. That is a much bigger request than contact, and it should be discussed with a lawyer.
The court may also encourage the parties to settle. Expect a process with conferences and an exchange of information before any hearing. Most of these cases do not need a trial, and any trial may be some time away.
What a Contact Order Can Look Like
If a court makes a contact order, it can spell out the details. Section 28 allows a court to set terms on contact and any additional terms it considers necessary and proper, such as the duration, frequency, manner or location of contact or communication.
A contact order might provide for a regular afternoon every second weekend, a video call on Sundays, attendance at certain religious or cultural events, or a set time during school holidays. It might also limit discussion about the case or require a neutral place for exchanges. Courts can design these orders to fit the family, and the best plans are usually practical and easy to follow. An order that causes a child to miss hockey every week is rarely a good one.
A contact order can later be changed, but only where there has been a material change in circumstances that affects or is likely to affect the child’s best interests. A person with a contact order also has to follow notice rules if they plan to move and the move could significantly affect the relationship, and they generally need to receive notice of a child’s relocation.
Thinking Honestly About Whether to Apply
Before you commit, a few questions deserve an honest answer.
Who is this for? Courts are not there to vindicate grandparents who feel wronged, and a child’s interests may not match your own. If your grandchild is a teenager who does not want contact, an order is unlikely to help, and it could make things worse.
What will the case do to the child’s home? A parent under stress from a lawsuit by their own parent or former in-law may have less capacity for the child. Judges think about that, and you should too.
What can you afford? Family litigation can cost a lot and take a long time, and costs may be ordered against an unsuccessful party. Be realistic about your retirement savings and health. Ask your lawyer to break down likely stages.
Is there a better short-term step? Sometimes a letter, a birthday card or a small gesture can keep the door open while emotions settle. Cards and gifts that respect the parent’s rules can leave a record of your care, and can eventually give a child a sense that you never stopped trying. Children grow up. Some of them seek out their grandparents on their own later.
A Few Things Not to Do
Do not show up at the child’s school or an extracurricular activity without the parent’s permission, and don’t pick up a child without authorization. Do not use a child as a messenger or quiz them about the other household. Do not post about the dispute on social media or within community and faith networks in Brampton, where word travels fast and messages can be shown to a judge. And do not assume that a verbal promise from a parent will hold up later. If things are going well, it may be worth asking for a simple written arrangement.
Grandparents usually enter these disputes out of love, and that is exactly why the process can hurt so much. The strongest position combines patience, a clear record of your role in the child’s life, and a real willingness to work with the parents. If mediation has failed or you need to understand your options, our custody and parenting page offers more background, and you can contact our office to discuss your family’s situation.