By the time many people read something like this, the household has already split in two. One partner is staying with a sibling in Mississauga with a bag of clothes, unable to go home. The other is getting calls from a Crown office and wondering what happens next. If there are children, someone is trying to explain why a parent isn’t around this week.
Domestic assault isn’t a separate offence in the Criminal Code. The charge is usually assault, assault causing bodily harm, assault by choking, or something similar, and “domestic” describes the relationship. That relationship, though, changes how police, prosecutors and courts handle the file, and it creates pressures that most other criminal cases don’t.
This article is written mainly for someone who has been charged or a family member trying to make sense of the process. It is general information and not legal advice. If you are the person who has been harmed and you are in danger, call 911. Victim services in Ontario can also help you with safety planning and support, and they’re a better starting point than an article like this.
Why Things Moved So Fast
People are often surprised to learn that the decision to charge was not made by the partner who called the police. In Ontario, officers responding to these incidents assess the evidence and lay a charge if they believe there are reasonable grounds. Even when the person who called says they don’t want anyone charged, the officers can proceed.
Once a charge is laid, the prosecution belongs to the Crown. It is not a private dispute between two spouses, and Ontario’s prosecution directive on intimate partner violence treats it as a serious crime, rather than as a family matter. That shapes each stage that follows.
The Conditions That Change Daily Life
Whether you were released by Peel Regional Police or by a court after a bail hearing, your paperwork will probably contain terms such as these:
- no contact or communication, direct or indirect, with the complainant
- staying away from the family home, the complainant’s workplace, and other named places
- not possessing firearms or other weapons
- reporting to a bail program, or following a surety’s rules
- sometimes, exceptions for contact through a lawyer or under a family court order
Read them line by line, because they apply exactly as they’re written. “Indirect” contact includes asking your mother to pass along a message, liking a post, sending money with a note, or showing up at a child’s event knowing your partner will be there. If the other person calls or texts you, or says it’s fine to come home, the conditions are still in force. Only the court can change them. A partner’s consent doesn’t cancel a court order, and the person who could get charged for breaking it is you.
Getting Your Belongings, Paying Your Bills
Practical problems come up right away. You may need clothes, a work laptop, medication, or your immigration papers. Don’t go to the house to collect them. A lawyer can often arrange a one-time attendance with a police officer or a neutral third party, if your conditions allow for it, or you may need a formal change.
The same goes for shared finances. A mortgage, a joint account or a family business can continue to need attention even when the people involved can’t speak with each other. Don’t message your spouse about a hydro bill. Ask your lawyer about a way to deal with it, for instance by way of a third party or through counsel. A small business owner whose spouse keeps the books faces a real and awkward dilemma here, which is one more reason to raise it early.
Don’t empty a joint account or cancel your partner’s phone or insurance either. Those actions could be viewed as harassment or retaliation, and they may also harm your position in any later family proceeding.
Can Your Partner Drop the Charges?
No. This is probably the most common misunderstanding. A complainant can tell the Crown what they want and those wishes can be heard, but the decision is the prosecutor’s.
Ontario’s directive is blunt on this point. A prosecutor must not withdraw charges solely because the victim asks, and must consider why the person may be recanting or refusing to testify, including the possibility of pressure. Given the danger involved in intimate partner violence, the directive says it will usually be in the public interest to proceed if there is a reasonable prospect of conviction. A prosecutor may also consider whether the case can be proven using other evidence, such as a 911 recording, photographs, or a statement.
This has an important practical side. Asking your partner to “tell them it was nothing,” or having your family do so, can be disastrous. It may amount to a breach of your conditions, and could lead to a further charge of obstructing justice or intimidation. If your partner truly wishes to speak with someone, they can get independent legal advice or contact the Victim/Witness Assistance Program. It shouldn’t be arranged by you.
Bail Is Often Harder Here
A few bail rules are specific to these cases. If you’re charged with violence against an intimate partner and you have a prior conviction or discharge for the same type of violence, the onus at a bail hearing shifts to you. Under section 515(6), the same is true where the assault allegedly involved choking, suffocating or strangling. You would then need to clearly demonstrate that your release plan addresses the risks.
Under the directive, prosecutors must take a position on release that considers ongoing violence, risks to children, and risk factors such as a history of violence, recent separation and substance abuse. So a plan that deals with housing, supervision, and any counselling or addiction concerns will be more persuasive than general assurances.
Children and Family Court
Criminal and family proceedings can overlap, and they can pull in opposite directions. Here is how that often looks.
Bail conditions may limit your access to your kids. A no-contact term with your spouse may also make exchanges impossible, and a term may name the children directly. If so, a parent may suddenly go without seeing their kids. If your conditions allow contact with children only “pursuant to a family court order,” there’s often an immediate need to get such an order or arrange an agreed process through lawyers.
Family court can consider the allegations. Under Ontario’s and Canada’s family law legislation, a court deciding on parenting has to take family violence into account as part of the child’s best interests. The allegations may come up even before a criminal trial has happened, and the two courts use different standards of proof. Your family lawyer and your criminal lawyer should be talking to one another, since what you say in a sworn family court affidavit could be used in the criminal case. You can read more about parenting arrangements and custody separately.
A children’s aid society may become involved. If children were present or might be at risk, Peel Children’s Aid could open a file. That process is separate, with its own requirements, and what you tell a worker may not be protected. Take advice before speaking at length.
The directive tells prosecutors to consider family court orders when recommending bail conditions. Tell your lawyer right away if an order is already in place, so the conflict can be addressed.
How the Court Case Unfolds
Many courts in Ontario have specialized procedures for domestic violence matters. Your matter will be heard at the courthouse at 7755 Hurontario Street, likely through several appearances. The usual steps include getting disclosure, a Crown pre-trial and a judicial pre-trial, followed by a resolution or trial.
Resolution options vary. The directive allows a prosecutor to recommend an early intervention program for a motivated, low-risk accused, but only if the person pleads guilty or agrees to a section 810 recognizance, has no violence-related convictions, did not cause serious injury or harm and did not use a weapon, and the victim has been consulted. Otherwise, a counselling requirement might form part of probation, such as the Partner Assault Response program, which is widely used by Ontario courts.
A section 810 peace bond can be available in exceptional cases. It doesn’t involve a finding of guilt, but it requires Crown Attorney approval under the directive, and it comes with conditions.
Ontario’s community justice diversion programs generally treat intimate partner violence as presumptively ineligible, so you shouldn’t expect these cases to be diverted in the same way as a shoplifting charge.
If you plead guilty, sentencing law treats abuse of a spouse or common-law partner as an aggravating factor under section 718.2. A person may ask for a discharge, which is not available for every offence, and courts consider it case by case. Parliament has also passed a new offence dealing with coercive control of an intimate partner, with a maximum of 10 years by indictment. It came with its own commencement rules, so ask your lawyer whether it applies to your situation.
Trials in these cases often depend on testimony. A court isn’t choosing whom it likes better. It’s asking whether the Crown has proved the allegation beyond a reasonable doubt. Your lawyer will look closely at disclosure, messages, any injuries, timing and video. Self-defence under section 34 can be relevant, particularly where both partners used force. The court considers the history of the relationship in deciding what’s reasonable, and that factor can cut either way.
Effects That Reach Beyond Court
A conviction or even a pending charge can reach into many other parts of life:
- Firearms. Weapons prohibitions are common, and they could affect a hunting licence or a job in security.
- Immigration. If you or your spouse is a sponsored or temporary resident, status questions may come up immediately. Non-citizens should get advice before any plea. For a permanent resident charged under section 267, the risk may be significant.
- Employment. Jobs involving children, health care, or a professional licence may have reporting duties.
- Housing. If you’ve been excluded from the home, you still may be on the hook for the mortgage or lease. Talk with a lawyer about property rights and the matrimonial home, as they aren’t decided by criminal court.
How to Protect Your Position
A few habits make a real difference during these months:
- Follow your conditions completely. Save a photo of them on your phone.
- Block the complainant’s number and social media accounts if that helps you avoid accidental contact, and don’t use mutual friends as messengers.
- Don’t delete messages. Deleting evidence can create new problems. Preserve what’s on your phone and give it to your lawyer.
- Get help where it’s relevant. Counselling for anger, addiction or mental health can benefit you regardless of how the case ends, and it may also be relevant in court. Ask your lawyer how and when to document it.
- Keep a separate log of your parenting time and the expenses you pay.
To learn more about how our firm deals with these cases, see our assault charges page, or reach out to the office to talk through your conditions. Nobody can predict how a case like this will turn out, but following your conditions and getting early legal advice can protect your ability to take part in your children’s lives and your own future.